oy vey

a day before my 24th birthday. i'm in complete disbelief. i will be a 1/4 of a century in 366 days. despite a potential panic attack, i feel a surprising lapse of calm and serenity.

i am not ashamed to say that it has taken me longer to get to the goals in my life than most people- possibly due to deep insecurities brought upon from 'nerdy fat kid syndrome' but this somewhat abnormal peace that i'm experiencing is the fact that i know that someday everything will fall into place at the exact moment when it's supposed to. i know that God put me on this earth for a great purpose, but i have doubted myself for so long. now i know and am in absolute certainty that this is the time where doubts will be abated by confidence, fright dwindled by bravery, and the trepidation of "not enough's" be stomped by attainment with integrity and truth. i have accomplished a lot in my short life, which ultimately gives me a step above the rest... life experience, and a story which adds to my ever growing character.

so for my last year before my big 2-5, here are some goals/ experiences that i would like to fulfill and some that i already have:

want to do:

• sky-dive
• rock climb
• hike
• run a marathon
• be a yogie instructor
• body surf
• be a youtube celebrity (crosses fingers)
  
• graduate, go to grad school, phD
  
• get married
• have kiddies
• work a real job
• save for labels (louboutin, chanel, +)
• shoot a gun (in a shooting range)
• featured in a magazine
• be editor-in-chief/ CEO
  
• become a professor
• do a stand up comedy act (i'm really funny in real life. truly)
  
• buy my parents whatever they desire and make them live forever and ever and ever
  
• magically take away my grandmother's arthritis
• turn back time and freeze my brother as the 6- year-old who adored me
• really make my friends understand how much they truly mean to me
• trust the right people
• forgive and get over it
  

done:

• waitress
  
• make-up artist (freelance and Benefit Cosmetics)
  
• design own clothes
• on air d.j.
• featured writer for a newspaper (Filipino Summitt)
  
• featured writer for a magazine (in the Netherlands)
• barista at starbucks
  
• telemarketer (for a day)
  
• volunteer work
  
• shoesaleswoman
  
• worked at the happiest place on earth (saw mickey without a mask)
  
• learned and is slowly mastering yoga
• surfed
• in process of starting my own business
• nordstrom (i got a top seller announcement at south coast plaza)
• saved for a louis v
• sang in my church choir
• attended a UC
• kissed a few toads
  
• overcame personal hurdles
• lost weight
• learned to crochet on my own
  
• learned to sew on my own
  

i'll post more when i think of 'em. it's almost 2:30 in the morning, i'm pretty winded from work.



ready or not... old age, here i come!

apologetic

for the lack of motivation to post.

when it rains it pours. i'm ready to hit my 24th year of life with the worst possible attitude. thank you to the one person who should have been there for me but isn't. thank you for the betrayal. the lies, the utmost disrespect.

to this person, i bid you adieu. i bid you a good life. i bid you better decisions in your personal journey whilst all the while tearing apart mine.

birthday wants

my three things that i really really really want this birthday:

elizabeth and james knuckle ring (in gold or silver):

Nikon - 6.1MP Digital SLR Camera - Black

A Lifetime of Secrets by Frank Warren


and a red velvet cake.


plus anything from where ever. i'm not entirely too picky this year. maybe a nice outing with the friends, a dinner or mini vacay with the family and a sweet surprise from the bf.

work that floral romper.

i love the juxtaposition of this faux leather jacket with... just about anything. it makes a dainty outfit look more edgy and an edgy outfit look even more EXTREME! ha.

this floral onesie that i found at a local vintage store seems like it was made perfectly for my body, i was a bit skeptical, only because of potential camel toe-but it worked out wonderfully. just in time for spring and the 90's explosion that so perfectly merged back into style.







romper: thrifted
jacket: h&m
shoes: gojane
scarf: banana republic
purse: vintage

ko:

happy mother's day

i love you mama.

forever

is a lie.

soulmates:
a joke.

love:
false.

fashion:
now, that's real.

how about i just stick with what i know? time to focus on myself and get my life on track.

edit: i had a moment of weakness. please excuse the vulnerability. love is a beautiful thing.